For a variety of reasons, many couples fantasize during sex. Anything from prior abuse to prior extramarital sex to a desire for sex, pleasure, and excitement can all contribute to it.
While enjoying sexual pleasure does not necessarily entail rejecting God, it is crucial to consider the source of that desire and if it may drive a psychological or physical breach between you and your partner.
Not every sexual pleasure leads to desire or a tendency toward transgression. Christians do not need to view fantasy or pleasure as immoral and deserving of guilt.
All we can do is exercise caution if imagination hurts or divides someone. We can determine if the fantasy is troublesome or appropriate by using moral judgment.
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Contents
Are Sexual Fantasies Allowed in a Christian Marriage?
Many people view sex as a filthy word, and even in married relationships, discussing it may be awkward. It may be challenging to distinguish between acceptable and unacceptable behavior when it comes to sexual expression and imagination in a married relationship. The Bible speaks clearly about certain aspects of love and sexuality, yet it is quiet about other elements.
Hebrews 13:4 states that the marriage bed must remain uncontaminated, although it doesn’t explain what this implies. It is challenging to decide what is good and wrong in light of this. Can you have fantasies about your partner? The Bible is the most reliable source for the solution.
We should first examine the significance and intent of married sex. The Bible uses the following passage to explain men’s joy in marriage: “Rejoice with the wife of your youth.
Let her own her breasts intoxicate you at all times.” May you always be ecstatic with her affection (Proverbs 5:18, 19). This does not imply that wives cannot enjoy happy times in their marriages with their husbands.
Wives are supposed to love having sex, too. According to 1 Corinthians 7:3, spouses should honour each other’s sexual desires. Additionally, men should give their wives their due. This tells us that having sex is a profoundly shared event that involves both couples’ enjoyment.
God created sex. God has a specific purpose in mind for our bodies. God was neither appalled nor startled when our first parents fulfilled their commitment since He made our bodies for sexual activity.
It is because sex is a mirror of God’s loving kindness that it is exciting, amazing, and delightful. God designed sex as a gift for us to care for and enjoy, which is why a man leaves his parents and becomes one with his wife.
Despite their nudity, Adam and his spouse were not ashamed (Genesis 2:24–25). The process by which a husband and wife unite as one is centred around sex.
Biblical values ought to influence a couple’s expression of love and physical closeness in marriage when it comes to fantasy. God gives spouses the freedom to decide what constitutes a healthy sexual connection. We can define what it means, provided it doesn’t conflict with the Bible.
This also applies to some imaginations. It’s crucial to consider if the behaviour is a constructive way for you and your partner to communicate.
Every choice you make should strengthen your marriage and be mutually beneficial. The psychological and physiological effects of particular decisions should also be understood.
No one should feel forced or bullied into participating in any sexual action that they find unpleasant if they are serious about making a wish come true. Additionally, we should avoid including other people in our dreams since this can set us up for adultery and send us in the wrong direction.
Here’s when the imagination becomes murky. Even while it can seem innocent, having sexual thoughts about someone other than your spouse might lead to problems later on.
In a setting that ought to be sacred, it objectifies sexual encounters and brings other influences into the close bond between a husband and wife.
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Strategies For Keeping Your Marriage and Spouse Front and Center (fantasize about your spouse in the right way)
1. Keep Your Mind Safe
Advertisements and social media are rife with sexual themes. From a young age, people are constantly exposed to sexual messages.
It’s critical to deliberately abstain from reading books, watching TV, or watching shows that elevate immoral connections like adultery or chance meetings.
However, when one wants to pull them in and allure them, then one is tempted. Then desire gives birth to sin when it has matured, and sin eventually results in death. – James 1:14–14
Starting in the mind is arousal. The pictures or scenarios that run through our minds reveal what is going on in our hearts. The link between you and your spouse is strengthened if those dreams feature them and pique your desire to become one.
It is easy for our ideas to influence our behavior. It’s common to think someone is still appealing after being married. Marriage does not cause someone to turn into a monster instantly.
The issue arises when a quick glimpse turns into an extended stare. If you notice that your eyes, thoughts, or behaviors are focused on someone other than your spouse, an emotional or physical wedge may emerge
2. Your Spouse Should Be the Only Person in Your Sexual Fantasies
With romance books becoming blockbuster movies and pornography becoming more and more prevalent, there is a fight going on to instill ideas that are not honorable of God in our minds. These pictures aim to trample on and harm God’s exquisite plan for marriage.
“Drink water from your well – share your love only with your wife,” advises Proverbs 5:15. Fantasies involving someone else outside your spouse are risky and may impede your relationship with them.
Proverbs 5:18–19, which states, “And rejoice in the wife of your youth,” reminds you to stay faithful to your marriage. May her breasts constantly satisfy you, and may her love always leave you inebriated. May she be a lovely and loving deer.
You may be more inclined to act out those sexual fantasies by creating more sexual pictures with persons other than your spouse.
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3. Concentrate on Giving Your Spouse Praise
It’s simple to get sucked into the comparison trap. You observe a man at the pool who appears to have a six-pack, even if your spouse doesn’t.
You may not be fond of your wife’s long, blonde hair, but you may find a woman at work with hair you would want to run your fingers over. Spouses can get so consumed by what is lacking that they lose sight of all the wonderful aspects that are there.
Song of Solomon 4:11 instructs us to pay attention to everything that makes our partners appealing. “My sweetheart, your lips are dripping honey; milk and honey are beneath your tongue; your clothes smell as sweet as Lebanon.
” Solomon’s devotion to his wife is something that the church doesn’t always discuss. I would still pick my ideal dove in a sea of eighty concubines, sixty queens, and innumerable young ladies. Solomon’s Song 6:8–9
Even though Solomon is aware that many women are available, he never stops telling his wife that she is the one he has chosen. Wouldn’t being reminded that her spouse would pick her up repeatedly be nice?
4. Express Your Wishes
If your desired sexual experiences are God-honoring and respectfully articulated, then feel free to share them with your spouse. Since you two will be together for eternity, you ought to experiment with sexual relations together. If you overcome the first uneasiness, you could elevate your private life to a new level.
Perhaps all you want as a woman is to be hugged after having sex, but your spouse doesn’t see the need for that. After sex, express your needs and feelings for a new kind of physical contact.
The spouses must be content and enjoy themselves. God made it so that men and women would multiply and bear fruit. In addition to giving us the capacity to populate the planet, he also provided our bodies the ability to stimulate and want sex with our partners.